Q & A with Silas Winterbottom
Hello everybody! Today is my second stop on the book tour for The Death (and Further Adventures) of Silas Winterbottom - the hilarious new children's book by Stephen Giles. I posted up my review yesterday and today I'm here with a Q&A with the book's villain - Silas Winterbottom.
Welcome, Mr Winterbottom. Firstly, what is it like being the villain of your very own story?
It hurts me deeply. I am a kind hearted old man. A man who has tried to be a good Uncle to his young nephew Milo and his nieces, Isabella and Adele. Unfortunately my valiant attempts to do good have been grossly distorted. The story you refer to is nothing more than the fantastical ravings of a lunatic.
So you deny the horrible allegations detailed in “The Death (and further Adventures) of Silas Winterbottom”?
Indeed. I fear that no one’s reputation is safe. My generous nature and soft heart are widely praised by those who know me well. Why just the other day one of my junior butlers made the following spontaneous remark. “Master,” he said, “you are the least violent employer I have ever had.” But if you were to read that awful book you would come away thinking I had taken to Bambi with a meataxe.
You invited your nieces and your nephew to your island home for the summer – are you saying you did not have a dastardly ulterior motive?
My only motive was to be a good and kind Uncle. Isabella, Adele and Milo Winterbottom are my own flesh and blood. I adore them. Utterly adore them.
So you are not a despicable bad guy?
I am as harmless as a feather.
Do you deny trying to feed Adele and Isabella to a pack of crocodiles?
That was a simple misunderstanding. The girls were merely sightseeing in the network of tunnels beneath my home and they got lost.
But you chained them to the wall.
Must you be so dramatic? Who amongst us hasn’t accidentally chained their nieces to a wall and then without thinking released a pack of ravenous crocodiles upon them? I am only human, after all.
I’m sorry Mr Winterbottom but the devious way you manipulate those poor children in your story is, well, devious.
Poor children? Milo, Isabella and Adele are not the innocent victims portrayed in that ghastly book. Far from it. Allow me to set the record straight with regards my nieces and nephew.
Let us begin with Isabella Winterbottom. Whilst Isabella may act like a princess, the truth is far less glamorous. She is a skilled thief who steals from her wealthy school friends in London so that she and her dim-witted father can maintain their fraudulent life amongst high society.
Then there is Adele Winterbottom. At first glance Adele appears to be a sweet, thoughtful, book-loving child whose only fault in life was to be born with horrific red hair and unsightly freckles. But look a little closer and you will discover a desperate girl who infiltrates my home under threats from her vile mother to win me over and inherit my fortune.
Finally, we have Milo Winterbottom. Little Milo is portrayed by Mr Giles as some kind of angelic orphan, condemned to a life of unhappiness all because his parents were blown across the south pacific on a volcanic eruption and ended up as shark food.
Yes, yes it’s all terribly sad, but did I mention that the boy accepted my generous invitation to visit for his own devious reasons - Milo hates me and he comes seeking revenge. So you see, the real villains of this book are the children, not their beloved Uncle.
You fiancée Lady Cornelia Bloom died in a mysterious accident many years ago and left her entire
fortune to you. There have been rumours that you had something to do with her death.
How dare you! It pains me to think of my dear, departed fiancée Lady Bloom. She was a woman of tremendous wealth with excellent taste in art and shoes, but the poor dear was rather accident prone. Her death was a great tragedy, but there is no point dwelling on it. She left me with a great many fond memories and an even greater fortune. Enough said.
Can we assume, given the book’s title, that you are in fact ... dead?
I make it a rule never to comment upon the state of my mortality.
You have a pet crocodile called Thorn. Is he a man-eater?
Indeed. But I must state for the record that Thorn has never eaten anyone who did not thoroughly deserve it.
Stephen M. Giles has several more books planned about you. Can you give us a sneak peak of what’s to come?
Stephen M. Giles is a nincompoop. I have heard that he plans to write the whole story concerning my adventures with Milo, Isabella and Adele. Well, I am glad. It will be a sweet story not unlike that delightful idiot, Mary Poppins; a story about a kindly Uncle who lavishes paternal affection upon his nephew and nieces, even though they are a pack of snivelling little brats who are out to steal his fortune.
Add to that my delightful crocodile Thorn and my dear friend Dr Mikal Mangrove, a dear man who thanks to that book comes across as an insane scientist trying to cheat death, and you have the sort of heart-warming tale that the whole family could enjoy. However, in the hands of Stephen M. Giles, I have no doubt it will be transformed into a gothic saga of life and death, as three young heroes battle the immortal soul of their demonic Uncle Silas. The author should be horsewhipped!
Thankyou for your time Mr Winterbottom.